The title of this post is a hat-tip to the DADAANG family, who have (in all probability) recently added another first-rate punner to their ranks. Congratulations, guys!
In addition to four periods of physical science, I also teach one section of "corrective math." "Corrective math" is, as the name implies, a sort of remedial class for students whose math skills need to be brought up to speed. These courses are very remedial for high school. For instance, the first workbook they work through is addition. Then, after about a semester -- or potentially more -- they finally move on to do a whole workbook on subtraction. Then, multiplication, then division, then ratios and fractions.
When you teach corrective math, you are supposed to read a script (that's right, read a script) while the students do problems, which system is more than slightly insulting to teachers as professionals, but I digress. I don't read the script, because I actually don't teach a whole class. I teach a "pullout class." This means that I only teach about five or six students from another class that either were causing problems in the larger class, or were able to move much faster on their own than the script allowed.
There are just a few kids, so we can get to know each other pretty well. We can get into highly stimulating conversation. Like the other day, I was helping one of my students with a problem; he was writing it on one of my chalkboards so that I could watch and tell him where he made a mistake. He ended up getting it wrong by an order of ten because of an error. When I told him the right answer, he was like, "I was close." and I said, "that's not close, that's like if someone said you were 140 instead of 14. That's a big difference." And he responded, "that's not a big difference, a big difference is a cat and a dog stuck together." I asked, "what?" And he said, "A big difference is like a cat and a dog stuck together."
A big difference
I thought that was really great, and, as you might have suspected, this has all been a ruse to get it down for posterity.
Not amused? Well how about this question, from a recent group worksheet:
1. Increasing the AMPLITUDE of a LIGHT wave will change the light in what way?
| a. The light will change colors | b. The light will get brighter |
| c. The light will get less bright | d. The light will change into an otter |
Unless you are a teacher, perhaps you can not believe the immense satisfaction this question gave me. All day long, students would ask, "what's an otter?" and I would explain in my very most patient teacher tone what an otter was (where they lived, etc.), but I would prudently allow them to draw their own conclusions. This is called student-centered learning. They'd look at me, then look at their paper, and then haltingly consult their group-mates. Ultimately, most would conclude that changing the amplitude of a light wave could not possibly change light into an otter. See, they're really learning! Here's where I'd put that youtube video of otters, but I can't figure out how to post youtube videos. Anyone else want to tell me?
A simple graphic shows that only changing the
frequency of light waves can get you an otter
I might as well put a video of a the double-mouse catch here too. I realize this entry is a disaster, but let's face it, Declan's about to hit the internet and all else will be swallowed up in a wake of total obscurity, so this is a good time for some indulgent for-posterity note-taking. Did you watch the video? Two for one! In case you were wondering, Victor mouse traps are the best. Remember when we were going to make coats out of mouse skins, Gregan? Well, I could totally do that these days.
