Q&A -- a Proud Blogging Tradition!

1st Q: What is VonGrinner going to do after his upcoming graduation?

He is seriously considering going into a witchcraft vocational school. Or massage therapy.

2nd Q: Why does he keep talking to people (his momma, poppa, Tressa) about education?

Because they all work in education. Sometimes things get all awkward, and you just want to fill the space. They know what I'm talking about.

3rd Q: Why does VonGrinner have a Philadelphia cityscape behind his name on his blog?

He put that up when he was a vegetarian, and thinking lustfully about cheese steaks.

4th Q: I get the feeling you are not showing due respect for my questions.

That's not a question! WTF?!?

5th Q: Now I'm on number five, and I'm not going back to questions until you take this seriously.

All right, all right! Sheesh! Questions four and five constitute an outrageous departure from Q&A protocol, and I shall never speak of them again. Questions two and three, and possibly one, can be answered with a simple three-word answer.

6th Q: Which is?

That's better! Teach for America.

7th Q: How long have you been at this? Are you accepted?

I am. I've been in the application process for like three months.

8th Q: City, grade level, subject?

Philadelphia (my first choice!), tentatively "secondary general science."

9th Q: Are you really qualified to teach science?

Do you really think it's wise to ask me that [shows fists]?

10th Q: You smell like mayonnaise.

You're on thin ice, young man.

11th Q: I mean...you smell like mayonnaise?

hmm....better...

12th Q: Isn't your major English?

Yes, but English is not in as high demand. Also, I applied for bilingual teaching, and I passed their Spanish exam. From that time on, I suspected they would go to one of my minors (Chemistry or, improbably, International Development), because you can not teach English in Spanish. In contrast to English teachers, both science and bilingual teachers are in high demand.

13th Q: This is the unlucky question. Does this mean you are going to be teaching in Spanish?

You are an incurable dork, and I am embarrassed for your mother. I would not know about Spanish until I have my "placement," i.e., my particular school assignment.

14th Q: Does this mean you would finally be done with (your own) school?!

No. As I am not certified, I would be concurrently enrolled at the University of Pennsylvania, and after my two-year commitment, receive a master's degree in education.

15th Q: Isn't that the Ivy League school no one has ever heard of?

Yep! Motto: "expensive obscurity." But it was founded by Ben Franklin, rather than some no-name monks in medieval England, like some schools I could mention.

16th Q: Are you going to do it?

Undecided. Leaning yes, especially if witchcraft doesn't work out for me (awaiting my OWL results).

17th Q: Where can I get more of this Q&A goodness??

I find this is an informative place to start.

Easter! Eat'er! Eat who? An animal made of meat!

Boy, I tell you, those grabby headlines are not as easy as they look.

Tomorrow, as you may know, is Easter. That means today marks the end of Lent. For those of you who may not have heard, I decided to observe Lent this year, as I was starting to run out of things to blog about.

But what to give up? Well, I have had a long line of vegetarian roommates, and I was always like, "what's that about?" so I went vegetarian for Lent. Now, as I reflect on 40 days of getting my protein from just eating eggs (I wasn't that hard-core) and beans, I find myself slightly more enlightened.

Like, for example, you know when we vegetarians say, "that looks so barbaric" when you have a slab of sirloin or BBQ sandwich on your plate? That is because it smells so freaking good. It is a survival tactic, like in high school when you told the hottest girl you knew she looked fat so that you would kind of be on equal footing. You are sparring with your natural predator and telling him things that aren't true so that he feels self-conscious.

Anywho, it will be good to be back among my carnivorous comrades once more...let the ravenous rumpus start!!

aarrwwooooo!! w-w- arwooooo!!

Adiós, MBM!!

In the spirit of nostalgia so thick close to graduation time, I thought I'd report on the end of an era in the VonGrinner story. Yesterday, Friday April 3, was my last graduation with MicroBusiness Mentors. Here's the program for the event, which is wrinkly----------------->

It was my eighth graduation with MBM, as I have worked with them for three years (the first two semesters as Director of Training). It was held at Dixon Middle School, where we've also held the classes since outgrowing Centro Hispano last December.

I added the program because I think I will want to remember the names of the people I worked with; I have already lost touch with some of the earliest MBM'ers. The staff is on the left side, under "special thanks to," with the exception of Teresa Taveres, who is Director of Centro Hispano, and Warner Woodworth, who is the founder.

When I first got involved in September of 2006, our first semester we managed to put together one Spanish class of eight or so graduates. We have worked hard and grown quickly, such that yesterday we had 33 graduates from our two Spanish classes and one English class. Clients hailed from all over Latin America, the United States, Asia, and even one from Saudi Arabia (Fawaz on the program).

Most of you must know what MBM is by now, right? We give business training for ten weeks (the right-hand column of the staff are the "Trainers"), and then people who have constructed a viable business plan under the Training Department's tutelage can be eligible for a small loan. We also give support to them during their business development, with an alumni network and mentors from the business community, as well as monthly meetings (where they also make payments on their loans).

We are old enough now that we are starting to see second and third loans go out for further growing successful businesses. That's the case with Danilo and Zobeida (pictured below), whose recent loan was used to buy this pallet-making machine. Before, they were making them by hand, and had more orders than they could fill. Cool, eh? I talked about them yesterday in the speech.
Well, Devon just called, and I am late for a very important date, evidently. It's just as well, as this is getting more detailed than a conscientious blogger ought to blog. I'll update later with pictures from the graduation.

**UPDATE**

As promised:

(click to enlarge)

We've Arrived!!

Nothing really happening in my life except for finals, but I am glad to see that the LDS Church has fully come of age in American society. You know you've hit the big time when you are indicted with the CIA, the Jooooos, and Bushitler for masterminding 9-11.

Some choice excerpts:

"The establishment of a branch of Brigham Young University in Israel created a legitimate front for covert activities of the secret/CIA element of the church"

"Being pre-informed if not directly involved in the plans for destroying the Twin Towers as well as Building 7 on September 11, 2001 is demonstrated by official advice given to Mormons working in the World Trade Center to not show up for work that day"

Thank goodness for "official advice!"

Gregan will appreciate these two:

"The nexus between the church and the Bush Administration has been documented by the pressure placed on the church from a personal visit by Bush to church headquarters in Salt Lake City prior to the forced retirement of BYU physics professor Steven Jones in late 2006. Jones was/is in the forefront of scientifically establishing a conspiracy to destroy the World trade Center by pre planted explosives."

"Secret elements of the church conspired with the CIA to overthrow democratically elected president Allende of Chile"

The truth will out! You know this guy is legit, as his credentials (listed at the end of the article) are in all-caps.

So I was wondering, as a soon-to-be-graduated senior with considerable language experience and nowhere particular to go, do you reckon the secret/CIA element of the Church will have a booth at General Conference?